An Ode to Solo Dates
Featured: a view that will make you write songs, skip down the street as an adult in plain sight and wonder how you could have ever worried a day in your life. (Otherwise known as the sunset at Granville Island on a blazing summer evening.)
I’m a big proponent of solo dates. I began intentionally taking myself on solo dates when I was living in Vancouver. It was a window of time to just be with myself and hear my thoughts—a break from the busyness of city life (especially as the social butterfly that I am).
I’m so glad I got in that habit of taking myself on solo dates because not only has it pushed me to try new things, but it has also been a wonderful self-care practice. So today, I wanted to share some solo dates I have experienced and loved and other creative solo dates I’ve been dreaming of:
Featured: A book I am sad to announce I could not get through, despite my valiant efforts. (This book selection was probably the causal effect of the forbidden Indigo experience, as explained below.)
Visiting a Second-Hand Bookstore and Rifling Through the Shelves Until You Feel Your Mind Begin to Swell with Possibility
It goes without saying that I am a bookworm. It’s a badge I wear proudly. In fact, if one could map a person’s pride for their bookworminess mine has exceedingly grown as I age because the longer I live the more I feel certain that people are either profoundly eccentric with niche interests or excessively boring. (And, I would take being an “odd bookworm over being the person that causes boredom any day!).
Now, for other fellow bookworms out there reading this passage, you may be thinking, “oh how original!” to my suggestion of visiting a bookshop, but hear me out! There are layers to visiting a bookstore, as you may or may not be aware. The first layer is the Chapters or Indigo experience. You’re buzzed from your 16 oz latte and gallivanting from one curated table of "trendy reads” to another. You graze your eyes over the back-cover blurbs one by one by one, never really settling into the world presented to you, merely assessing it. That, to me, is probably the least appetizing of the bookstore excursions. (Not a knock on Chapters/Indigo, as that place was my chapel growing up.) But, let us explore the second layer, shall we?
The second layer is frequenting a bookstore as the Vintage Aesthetic Chaser. The Vintage Aesthetic Chaser is all about the outward appearance. She visits the second-hand bookstore because the vinyl records couldn’t possibly be accompanied by a Heather’s Pick sticker. How unsavoury! Aesthetics must complement one another for the Vintage Aesthetic Chaser to feel whole. So, she frequents second-hand bookstores (think Pulpfiction Books in Vancouver on Main Street) to appear worldly. She will rest her ring-stacked fingers along the spines of the most respected of novels: Jane Eyre, Huckleberry Finn, and The Great Gatsby… of course, these books serve more to her as a chic lamp elevating the ambiance around her than a portal to another world. And that, folks, is what we are seeking for our first solo date: a portal.
Let us descend into the third rung (or layer) of bookshop frequenting: that in which the brain has no choice but to balloon. (Balloon in a good way! Not to be confused with an aneurysm! Oh me oh my!) To do this, you must visit a second-hand bookstore, not for the aesthetic but for the history and stories it carries! You know the ones: the ones that smell like wisdom and adventure. You know the smell! I mean, just think of all of the nerds before you who wandered between those stacks of stories; all of the lovers who brushed up against dusty shelves. The stories that cannot be captured in the books themselves but exist in the dust that collects and causes sniffles for days—that, my friends is part of the experience! It is these narrow passages you must frequent for our first solo date. But, you must take your time. Pick up a book and don’t just gaze at it, let the poeticism of the words wash over you; let the story morph the shelves around you into foreboding branches of an enchanted forest. Consume each book you pick up slowly. You don’t have to read it all in one sitting but don’t pounce between back-of-book blurbs either. Be more in-depth. Simmer in the moment. Do so until you happen across an author unbeknownst to you and in that fateful moment when you are relaxed and full of curiosity your mind will begin to swell.
Featured: Vancouverites waiting to enter the Vancouver Art Gallery.
2. Visiting an Art Gallery and Curating a Playlist (In Real Time) to Match the Music to the Way the Art Makes You Feel
I have a bit of a flair for the dramatic. I don’t just like doing things half-hazard. I want them to be done with a bombastic level of enthusiasm and dedication to your main character energy so over the top it can only be (justly) referred to as unhinged. Thus my reasoning for not just wanting to experience one art as the protagonist on my hero’s journey (my solo date). I want to experience my life as a goddamn musical!! Mistro, commence! This solo date also has the benefit of reacquainting you with music nuzzled in the deepest corners of your Spotify playlists. A new way of hearing your music and art—win, win!
Featured: A passage from the short story collection Single, Carefree, Mellow.
3. Reading a New Book and Snapping Pictures of Passages that Move You to Use in a Collage
We have already established that my love for reading knows no bounds. So, as Canadian idol Celine Dion once said, “well, here we are again.”
Nevertheless, I must press on: for imagine not only enjoying a splendid new book (might I suggest a few from this gorgeously written book recommendation blog post, hehe), but combining that with a fun little craft after?! I know. The greatness is TOO MUCH!! Bonus points if you do this in sync with a friend and text each other what passages are catching your eyes to be the talking points of future conversations.
Featured: My angel face looking at you looking at me. ‘What am I doing’ you ask? Great question. I’m writing (mid-draft) and feeling exhausted, but oh so happy.
4. Writing a Short Story and Savouring the Draft Stage
Our culture has adopted this poisonous belief that we have to wait to share the art we create when we are “good enough.” The problem with that is we fill ourselves with so much worry and fear of not meeting this vague, artificially-high bar that we sometimes don’t even begin doing the art in the first place. Lately, I’ve been relishing the in-between stages. I want to share art that is entirely messy and unrefined. I feel most connected to my inner child (who was endlessly creative, I might add) when I do so.
So, I invite you to do the same. Pour yourself a steaming mug of peppermint tea and soak up the messiness of your first draft. Smile at the typos. Write because you can and because your creativity is rich and abundant. The draft stage is so exciting because anything is possible. Enjoy that.
I hope you had a thrill of a time reading this list of solo date ideas! I would love to hear which you enjoyed most and hear about other solo dates you’ve tried.